Just when you thought it couldn't get worse....

Ok...so if you've read this long winded whine session since the beginning, you may recall that my husband's ex-wife, (we'll call her MARY), allowed her teenage son, then 17, to sleep over at his girlfriend's house several night a week. This was done behind his father's back, because his father was very vocal in his disapproval.

The girlfriend, was 15 when they started dating, and HER mother was a companion for an elderly person and slept away from home 3 or so nights a week at least. She had no problem with her daughter's boyfriend staying over several nights a week in her daughter's room. The girlfriend was turning 16 in the 9th grade, having been left back a couple of times.

You know where this is going, right? No one reading this has any illusions about the ultimate outcome of this situation, right? Well, in case my hints are too subtle, ultimately the teenage son, gets his 9th grade girlfriend pregnant around Thanksgiving. The kids wait a week or two to say anything, and then tell my husband's ex-wife, MARY, (oh...let's just use her real name....ASSHOLE)....about a week and a half before Christmas.

There are several phone calls from that household to ours, from Thanksgiving until about New Year's, requesting money, drunken rants from Asshole and "Asshat" (Asshole's Boyfriend). But does anyone tell my husband, as they are LEGALLY REQUIRED TO DO....that his son has gotten his girlfriend pregnant? Nooooo....they finally tell us AFTER NEW YEAR'S!!! and his son can't understand why we're freaked out that this girl WANTS TO HAVE THE BABY!!!!!!

There is so much wrong here I don't know where to start. So I won't.

We call there and speak to her about her options. We encourage her to have an abortion. We offer to pay for it. We talk to her mother, who's pretty beside herself (oh...ok....you didn't see this coming?) and through her tears and sniffles and whatnot, and she says she can't believe the girl is pregnant.

Well, flash forward to last week. She had the baby. He's very cute. A healthy boy named Cayden. (or Caiden...not sure) and it looks just like my stepson. ( Iwas realllllly hoping it would be Black or Asian)

She was going to call him "ZYLAN" but we told my husband's son that it sounded like prescription medication. ("Oh look how big "ZOLOFT" is getting....oh isn't CIALIS adorable?" "Be right back, I have a headache and I need to take a "ZYLAN")

The girl is in Indiana and he left home in Florida to be there for the delivery and is helping take care of the baby....He's a very proud father and we're trying to be supportive. He's told me so much about breast milk that I think he's now certified as some sort of expert in the field.

We have sent money and necessities, and call regularly to talk to him. It's completely awkward, because how do we call her to say "Congratulations!!!" when we know what their lives are going to be like in the next few years. Oh yeah, and "HI, remember us? We're the ones who called you to talk you into an abortion....congratulations!!!"

So as you would expect, the "baby mama"really hasn't had anything to say to us. We don't know anything about her other than she and her mother used to smoke alot of pot until they quit a couple of years ago... That this girl's father was killed while he was riding in the open passenger window frame of a car, when he fell out, landing on his head.... (What do you say to someone when they tell you this?)

We know we used to see her G-stringed ass on all her myspace photos and she doesn't ever smile. That's all we really know about her. And that she lives with her mother and elderly grandmother in Indiana. Hopefully, she'll go back and COMPLETE THE NINTH GRADE.

I know it's not at all about me...
Really I do.

It's just so...I don't know..."trailer". And now, like my husband's exwife Asshole, his son's baby mama is now in our lives forever. Please God, don't let them have ANOTHER ONE.

I think this makes me a step-grandmother or something, and I'm not even 40. Or a mother.

Greeeeeeeeeeeat.