A lot of things have changed for me... I think many of you,were (are) doing what I was doing last year....googling, "Being a Stepmother Sucks" out of desperation, frustration and some small, sad attempt at humor, to find a way to make your situation bearable.... I actually, for the most part, now get along great with my stepdaughter, and I know she refers to me as her "mom" to her friends. There's a whole bunch of factors at work here, and I'll explain what changed, later:
The best thing about this blog, which was originally intended to be a rant about my property management job, (although I think I largely just come across as a big bitch most of the time. I'm not, but, hey, perception is everything, right? hahaha.)...
I got to rant about it and I got some great advice and feedback, and I'm happy to share anything that will help improve ANYONE's life who is in this situation. Being a stepmother (stepparent) is hard, hard, hard....and you can't know that it's going to be difficult, or even in what WAY it will be difficult...you can't even imagine the crap that comes up...because it's really multidimensional.
If you are lucky not to have to deal with the ex on a regular basis, well it's a blessing, but it's not just about you being a fabulous caretaker (which I'm sure you are...full of good intentions and oh yeah, cash.), it's about you and your spouse, his relationship with the ex (they are usually permanent due to the kids, sorry, nothing you can do.), the kids relationship with your spouse, their relationship with the ex, and oh yeah, you.
You are joining their family dysfunction (regardless of whose fault or whatever...welcome to the fun.), and for better or worse, how you handle or prevent drama in your life, is what will determine the sanity/quality of life you can expect to enjoy.
Look for the post, hopefully later tonight, and thank you for those who emailed me advice, and thank you for those who emailed me telling me that they know EXACTLY what I mean, because they have been there. It's just nice to be heard. Thanks.
A Clean Well-Lighted Place
19 hours ago
2 comments:
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
Thanks for visiting.:) I'd never really "written" before this blog, because I never felt I had anything to write about.
The need to vent the sludge that was residing within me, was greater than my ability to make it interesting and "readable". I'm working on that, so I appreciate the encouragement.
Until I started getting emails from other stepparents, I thought I was alone in this. ("Being a stepmother sucks" is apparently a hugely googled thing...lol. Go figure.)
It's nice to know that someone besides my mother is motivated to read and or comment. :) Thanks again.
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