3 WEEKS = FOREVER

They say "Time Heals All Wounds". Ok...how much time, exactly?

A human year is equal to 7 dog years.
Apparently, three weeks, to a teenager is an eternity. The subject of trust came up again last night. My stepdaughter's high school has been in session for 3 weeks. And the nightly conversations go like this:

me: "Did you do your homework?"

her: "Yes."

me: "What did you have?"

her: " English, Science, French, Global and Math."

me: " Ok, so did you do your work?"

her: "Yes."

me: "All of it?"

her: "what?...(trailing off to buy more time...a textbook timewaster)"

me: "All of it. Did. You. Do. All. Of. Your. Homework." (I include the 1000 -mile- stare- that- can freeze fish.)

her: "Uh, well. No."

Notice how many times I ask the same question. At least 3. Sometimes she insists she's done everything. Ok. Fine. Let me see it.

So I look it over and correct grammar, etc...for the most part she's doing her homework this year. But then again, it's only been 3 weeks. I am aware of one missing assignment, which got her instantly grounded so she's received the message by now, what our expectations are.

Last night, she starts to get very upset that I don't trust that she's done her homework. She's missing something that she says she regularly completes before class in her "Zero" period. (A tutoring/ study hall period built into her schedule before school.) hmmm.....

I press further. She insists everything ELSE is completed and gets very whiny and upset and proclaims that I don't trust her.

I agree with her. I don't. This initiates more whining from her. I explain that I'm not angry, but no, I don't trust what she tells me, because she spent and entire year lying to me about anything and everything. So yes, while it looks like she's more focused this year, currently I have no experience with her in which I can say that I trust her.

her: "Sounds like you have a problem."

me: "No, the problem is yours."

her: "But I haven't lied to you in THREE WEEKS."

me: "Oh, ok..never mind then. You're trustworthy. It's been THREE WHOLE WEEKS since you lied to me. THANKS."

This actually started a pretty healthy dialogue about what type of values for which we want to be known. It was difficult to accept, but she finally seemed to understand that just because you say "I'm an honest person", if you regularly are caught telling lies, then no, in fact, by definition you are not an honest person. People are defined by their actions.

And as much as I enjoy postponing all the interesting things I plan to do for myself each evening, in order to interrogate her regarding her homework and marginal time management skills, it's going to take a whole lot longer than 3 weeks for me to not listen to my "bullshit-o-meter" ringing every time she opens her mouth.